Missy's Thoughts

There are many, many elements of American culture that can affect a person's self-esteem.  This year I will celebrate my 40th (gasp!) birthday.  As I have gotten older, I have become more and more comfortable with myself.  I'd like to think the degree of the cultural influence on my personal self-esteem goes down with age.  Yet, the very fact that I am dreading the label of being a forty-year-old female is indicative that it still has quite a hold on me.  I think this is true with most American women.  Why else would the word "botox" have a familiar place in our vocabulary?  I think in the United States there is a fear that as we age we become irrelevant or even burdensome.  I have read that in some cultures getting older is something to be envied.  To reach an age where your hair turns gray and your skin is wrinkled is a fortunate thing.  Older people are honored and revered.  Their families look to them for guidance and wisdom....

When I was a student at Utah State University over 20 years ago, I got a job on campus as an aide in the ESL department.  It was there I met the Kim family from South Korea.  They offered me a job tutoring their children in English.  I would go over to their home a few evenings every week.  I was particularly excited about the job because the young man I was dating had served his LDS mission in Seoul.  These two relationships led to a lot of interesting conversations.  I would talk with him about experiences with the family and I would tell the family stories he had from his time in Korea. One evening, they invited me to dinner.  I told my boyfriend this and he told me some things to prepare.  For one, the meal is served "family style" and everyone eats off the same plate.  You have a small bowl of rice that is your own, but everything else is shared.  Luckily, on our first date, he had taken me to eat Korean food, so I had some experien...

One of the things that my Stake President has often taught is the phrase "Assume positive intent."  It is something that has resonated deeply with me and that I have shared often.  I think it can also be applied to teaching students from a variety of cultures within a TESOL classroom.  In fact, I think it is something that I would mention from the very first day of class.  Each of us comes from a culture with certain rules and norms that are deeply embedded into our subconscious minds.  We make observations about what is right and wrong, sometimes without even thinking or considering the other person's perspective.  I live in the United States and do not have plans to teach in another country, so I will not need to adapt fully to another culture.  However, I will have students from many different cultural backgrounds and life circumstances.  They may have different ideas on what is respectful and what is disrespectful, or what is appropriate and w...

 Learning about attributions in different cultures is really interesting.  I think knowing this information is really important for a TESOL teacher, especially the ideas of internal and external attribution.  I feel like a lot of the things we have studied so far about different cultures really link together.  For example, in Japan, they have a group mind-set.  This makes sense in comparison with their attributions.  When a person in Japan is successful, they attribute it externally.  They show gratitude and give credit to the group.  However, when they fail, they attribute it internally.  They have failed the group and not done their part.  I am from the United States and so have been raised in a culture that is the opposite of the Japanese when it comes to these things.  However, some of the attributions the US assigns frustrates me.  Attributing success internally and then failure externally seems really self-centered to me....

My husband really values personal space.  During the holidays, we often have a lot of family over.  Typically, my three sisters, their spouses, and children all stay at our house for several days.  My family has NO SENSE of personal space.  It can be difficult at times.  However, we have learned to manage.  Sometimes my husband goes into our bedroom and shuts the door.  We all know that he is not being rude - he just needs space.  Because I know that about him, I try and respect it.  He is actually of German descent, so it was interesting to me to learn how much Germans value their space and hold it to be almost sacred. I can't help but wonder if this is something that has been passed down to him.   In a TESOL classroom, I could see a lot of miscommunications arising around what people may perceive as a violation of their personal space or property.  One culture may think it is no big deal to borrow another school supplies, whi...

 In Japanese culture, a common phrase is translated to say "The nail that sticks out gets hammered down."  This is because Japan is a group-oriented society.  This is in high contrast to the individualistic society of America.  American children are taught to strive for perfection or to rise above the rest.  They are encouraged to find their passions and express themselves.  Other countries would be shocked by this allowance for children.  In other countries, parents are always consulted before children can make decisions.  Sometimes even extended families are asked for their input!  The cultural implications of individualism vs collectivism must be paid attention to in a multicultural classroom.  I think at a very minimum, the teacher needs to be aware of the culture that each child comes from and their views on these topics.  The push to "rise above" that is prevalent in an American classroom is not always the goal for every child...

 Perhaps the most interesting thing I learned this week was the study of the class watching a surgical procedure.  There were students who hardly seemed to react when they watched the video as a class, and yet when they watched it alone, they had the same facial expressions associated with strong emotions that others had.  Because I come from a society (the United States) that is okay with expressing emotions in public to some degree, the idea of someone reacting differently in a group vs when they are alone makes me...well, suspicious.  That may sound strange, but I have always had strong feelings about the notion that a person should always be true to themselves, no matter the situation.  This example seems to contradict that idea.  And yet, as I learn about different cultures and the things they feel are/are not socially acceptable, the more I begin to realize that I may need to fix some of my thinking.   I am naturally a very expressive person...

 Earlier this week I learned that I am a polychronic individual living in a monochronic society.  Today I learned that one of the habits that I have during conversation (interrupting) in some cultures would be evidence that I am invested in and really enjoying the conversation.  I am starting to feel a little bit like a fish out of water!  I am only kidding.  I know within each society there are variances in how we interact with each other, even though there are generalized "cultural norms".  In preparing for a TESOL classroom, I think it is incredibly important for a teacher to keep this at the very forefront of their mind.  Someday I will have a classroom of students from many different cultures.  Miscommunications are bound to happen in a situation such as this.  However, that does not negate the responsibility to try my best to avoid the problems that may occur because of them.  It will be difficult to avoid the miscommunications the...

 The concept of time is a really interesting thing.  I live in the United States and always have.  Time and schedules are things involved in nearly every conversation.  What time does something start?  When do I need to be there?  How long will it take?  When will you be back?  Sometimes I think we are so focused on time that we can't really enjoy what is going on around us.  It was no surprise to me to learn that the United States uses and values a "monochronic" schedule.  This means that tasks, schedules, rules, policies, procedures, etc are what rules us.  In fact, American businesses have a reputation for being so focused on success that they neglect the needs of their employees and company morale.  Although that seems to be changing, which I think is a good thing.  Businesses in the U.S. are adopting more of a "polychronic" view.  Many other countries in the world are considered "polychronic".  This means...

 I took a psychology class about twenty years ago while working on my Associate's Degree.  The instructor was Mr. Christensen.  I don't remember a lot of my teachers from back then, but I remember him.  He taught me a lot about life and helped me see things about myself that are key to who I am now and how I view the world.  One of those things is the phrase "all you know is all you know."  It is so simple, and yet explains much about why each of us makes the choices that we do.  Each of us only knows what we know.  We only know the paradigms, or models, that we have developed in our own lives as a result of our personal cultures, families, and surroundings.  Unfortunately, we are so used to the world being only as we view it that it can create a bias in us that we don't even recognize.  Some may call this implicit bias, which is  we have attitudes towards people or associate stereotypes with them without our conscious knowledge. ...